zuPOO Reviews: What Are Customers Actually Saying? | UMZU
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Staff-Selected Hilarious Reviews
This stuff works so well, it should come with a disclaimer and require a signature of consent before customers purchase it. All I can say is you better invest in a family pack of some high-quality toilet paper before you start taking this. Seriously, you are not ready for what is about to come out of you... The first 24 hours are the worst... DO NOT, under ANY circumstances, chance any farts in public for ANY reason, I don't care how bad your stomach is growling. You will **** your pants. Absolutely do not plan on going out on any dates until you have finished your cleansing cycle, there will be no second date. Also, if you choose to look at what you have created after you have expelled what has been sitting in your body for so long, you will have nightmares. Just flush and rush, do not investigate. But yeah, it works. You'll drop a few pounds and feel way leaner.
Benjamin - Results may vary from person to person.
Ahoy matey, it's my 3rd day of this 15 day voyage. "How intense could this be?" I asked, while awaiting orders on the **** deck, not knowing **** was a slumber away. By the dawn me arsehole responded "Thar she blows!" Not jusy any old scalawag can tell ye the stories I've seen at sea. Ahab hath seen nothing in comparison to the evasive brown whale. "YARG!" I belched while my belly chums the waters. The Pooquod was not equiped for such volatile movements! Toiletrie supplies are running low and me booty hole hath endured many a wave lad; this may be the last time I write. I'm penning this strapped to the porcelain crows nest, the old Bermuda Traingle screams sea shanties that echo off this porcelain tub. SAVE OUR SHIP! NAY, WE PUSH ON THROUGH WHATEVER WAVES CTHULHU CAN MUSTER! If this old salty dog don't make it, tell them I give Zupoo 5 stars for giving me a proper captains whirlpool.
Eyrn A. - Results may vary from person to person.
Day 1: I don't think this product works....
Day 2 : Prayer stance over my toilet. Family pack of toilet paper gone. Begging God for forgiveness for everything wrong I have done. Bargaining for another day to undo all the wrong!
Day 5: Product definitely works and will clean you out. I mean clean you out! Thank you umzu!
Alan - Results may vary from person to person.
Serious Reviews of Serious Results
I followed the plan for two weeks. I noticed results in two days and continued to have great results for the remainder of the two weeks. No cramping, no running to the bathroom, just complete pain free elimination. I also had more energy through out the day, felt lighter and a lot less bloated ! Highly recommend and I will be repeating the process again soon!
Christine M. - Results may vary from person to person.
I took this in the beginning of January 2021 and by March 2021 I was down two sizes and I've lost 20lbs. So. ...I know everyone is different and I'm not sure I can say it's all because of this product BUT I have some theories. I think this product moved things that were causing inflammation and slow digestion. After that ...I wasn't craving the foods that were creating physical issues for me. When you feel lighter you feel better...so I was able to get more done...energy was coming back....So....not 20lbs immediately....but again...for me...it started with umzu.
K. - Results may vary from person to person.
I wish I could write several reviews as it’s only been 12 hours but the physical sensations I have felt within the first 12 hours are crazy. First I’d like to say I’ve had a rough year with my gut. Between getting the stomach flu, going to a third world country, and then returning home to deal with anxiety and covid, i have not been regular and have had stomach pains for months. It was recommended by my doctor that i take magnesium citrate but the reviews about this product were so good and i knew i needed a good cleaning out. I took 2 pills at 730 pm, had crazy gas and bloating at 9 pm, and then was going to the bathroom by 4 AM. Needless to say my body was more than happy to get rid of the **** it had been storing up. Also, my lower stomach already feels flatter and “mushier”. It used to get so full and hard and now it just feels like skin. I’m only giving it 4 stars as I did experience some nausea and cramping, but that easily could have been from my own anxiety and also just my body pushing out the toxic waste. I’m curious to see how I feel after using it 15 days!!
Nadia. - Results may vary from person to person.
†Disclaimer: These statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. These products are not intended to diagnose, treat, cure or prevent any disease. Product results may vary from person to person. Information provided on this site is solely for informational purposes only. It is not a substitute for professional medical advice. Do not use this information for diagnosing or treating a health problem or disease, or prescribing of any medications or supplements. Only your healthcare provider should diagnose your healthcare problems and prescribe treatment. None of our statements or information, including health claims, articles, advertising or product information have been evaluated or approved by the United States Food and Drug Administration (FDA). The products or ingredients referred to on this site are not intended to diagnose, treat, cure or prevent any disease. Please consult your healthcare provider before starting any supplement, diet or exercise program, before taking any medications or receiving treatment, particularly if you are currently under medical care. Make sure you carefully read all product labeling and packaging prior to use. If you have or suspect you may have a health problem, do not take any supplements without first consulting and obtaining the approval of your healthcare provider. *Inositol is sourced from and contains milk. Copyright © UMZU LLC. All rights reserved.
